Onwards To A New Chapter

When I read a book and reach a chapter of immense suspense, depending on my mood, I'd either stop and put it aside to continue it later, or bulldoze through, eager to devour the outcome.

When I watch a movie with thrilling suspense, I'd hide behind my hands or cushion, not wanting to jump out of my skin and wait for that scary scene to pass.

  

With regards to uprooting myself to another country, I have people often ask me, "Are you excited yet? You're starting a whole new adventure over there!"

And they ask with such vigour and excitement in their voice that my lacklustre reply tends to dampen their mood. 

"Yeah..." is all I can usually say.

My horoscope says that I am an adventurous person, but I believe I can only be adventurous when I am with the right company, or when I'm in the right mood - which I think can be a very rare occasion.

*shrug*

 I'm not a risk taker.

Unless it involves climbing a tree!

Years ago when I first completed my SPM, it was time to apply for college courses and to see the world. It was my parents (more like my mum) who did all the research and finally decided on my college to attend for A'levels. 

I was terrified.

I was terrified of leaving home and leaving the comfort of family life to live in the big world of KL.

As I laid in my bed at night weeks before my impending departure, I could only pray that I died in my sleep.

Just so I wouldn't have to face that scary new chapter of Life.

Well, that didn't happen and so I was forced to attend college.

(And no, at that time, it never occurred to me that my family would be devastated.)

Every time I come to a close of a chapter to start another one, I get cold feet and flail around like a drowning chicken. (Do chickens drown?)

I hate job applications and interviews. I hate resigning from a job in order to apply for a new one. I hated all the uncertainties which did not bode well for my lack of self-esteem.

(I shouldn't be putting this here, should I? I need to start job hunting soon!)

I am not a Carpe Diem (Seize The Day) sort of person. I prefer to lie back and watch the world go by (with a good book and some chocolate in bed) and only wake up to see the world when I'm good and ready.

By then, it would be mid-afternoon and I would berate myself for wasting the entire morning away!

And so happens that I've been doing that for the past few weeks in a panic frenzy. I've got just a bit more packing and shipping to do before I am forced to say adios, sayonara, farewell, to what has been my comfort zone for the past 10 years or so.

I'd better get packing before I really lose more time...

Tell me, how do you guys become so brave? Some say that it is out of the necessity of the situation that forces one to stand tall and face the challenges and obstacles ahead.

Ah, I hate growing up.



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Ooh, hey!

I just cleared my drawer and came across a notepad with quotable quotes. *roll eyes* Don't you just love how you tend to come across some positivity when you don't want them at all? :)

"Sometimes you must do the thing you cannot do." - Marathon, done.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Turn me into Tom Sawyer, then!

"The greatest test of of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart." - Tell me after a few pints.

"Our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task, will determine its successful outcome." - My usual approach in the office, I suppose.

"Our attitude is not determined by circumstances but by how we respond to circumstances." - Agree, but soooooo hard to remember!

"A positive attitude makes a long and difficult journey easy." - Okay okay, I get it.

"Your life is a reflection of your attitude. If you change your thinking, you change your life." - Okayyyy, I agree.

"Your problem is not your problem. Your attitude - how you handle your problem - is your problem." - What a tongue twister. Reluctantly I agree.

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As an ultimate procrastinator, I can't even print my boarding pass. The printer decided to go haywire on me. Grrrrr

And looks like I'll have to pay for some excess baggage. Why do I have so much crap to bring along with me?!