Saturday, October 19, 2013

It's My Party And I'll Do What I Want To

Trying on clothes at
lululemon athletica.
They put my name on
the door of my fitting
cubicle.
*humming to Miley Cyrus' "We Can't Stop"*

It's a week after the Melbourne Marathon and life seems so empty without a goal to aim for.

Or so we think.

After 2 days of wincing at every step, the legs are back in action and I am hopping with excitement, hoping to have a splendid time up in the Victorian Alps. We are taking part in the 31KM run of Lake Mountain Skyrun which is on tomorrow, i.e. 20th October 2013. I'm soooo relieved to know that the weather is going to by bright and sunny, so I don't need to be wrapped up like a marshmallow to run!

It was initially expected to be cold (and a wee bit of snow?) as the winds went crazy around Melbourne on Thursday. But looks like it's all clear now. Yessss!


I do hope, however, that there will be a few snow capped peaks dotting the horizon for a picturesque run, as I am looking forward to be trigger happy with the camera! :)


First attempt of Cantonese Fried Kuey Teow ... I would give myself a fail, with so many things
wrong with it, but erm, it was regardless, still edible!

Besides posting of pictures of food and talking about running, I honestly have nothing else to talk about. Nothing exciting is happening in my life as the Housewife Bum, that I am starting to sink into my shell, completely embarrassed that I am hopelessly unproductive and unambitious.


Calling home to catch up with the family becomes a nervous affair. The elders must think I'm wasting away and not doing anything significant in my life. All the money wasted on my education, just to watch their daughter turn into a ... bum. Haha!

Each time I assure them that I will get down to it, be it job hunting or signing up for a course, but I'm not sure why I prefer to wile the hours away.

Now if only I could sell my stuff and make a bit of pocket money for myself! :D

Every morning I tell myself to snap out of it.

Chatting to friends and keeping in touch with some of them back home makes me nervous, too. Not only because we are currently living in different timezones and living our lives differently, but you will know, and feel, some form of detachment. With me, I suspect.

Groups of friends are still doing things together, experiencing the same shit in our country together, etc while I am, just ... here. 

Away from them and the same experience.

(The cue to the above is Scorpions' "Under The Same Sun" but I don't think the lyrics match my sentiments above. Haha!)

One of the crocheted owls, which will
soon be available for adoption!

Which brings me to my dilemma of disentangling myself from their lives first, before they drop me off.

Do I make sense?

I had an old friend once. We went to the same primary school, secondary school and college. After college, she was in close contact with some of us for a few years by email and letters and suddenly just after university life, it all stopped. She stopped contacting us whenever she was back in Malaysia, and she just didn't respond to our emails.

To this day, we wonder why she cut herself loose from us.

We know that she's doing great and living a happy life, though, so that's good. Although we are saddened by the fact that she decided to move on without her old friends in her new life, we have finally stopped asking ourselves why she did it.


Spotted toe nails make me look like I have some form of nail infection haha!
The things I do when the other half cooks me dinner. :D

But these few months have made me realised that one of the reasons why she may have disconnected herself from her old friends back home is the lack of proximity, and maybe, embarrassment. 

I do feel ashamed that I'm a lifeless bum and I feel my lack of worth. If I continue to sink deeper into this ... whatever you call it, I think I would do what my old friend did, cut away ties from old friends.

*virtually slaps self*


See?

One of the reasons I hardly update this blog is because I can't tell you about how worried I am that my friends will soon abandon forget me. *roll eyes*

Now that I've told you this, don't abandon me!
*pulls at your leg*

Don't leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ...


Oops, sorry. I need to tuck myself into bed and wake up early for our drive to the rub tomorrow. It's going to take about 1.5 hours to get to our destination.

Don't mind this post. I'm just prattling on.
Goodnight!

4 comments:

  1. Every time I step out the door for work, I wish I could be a lifeless bum too. If you ever want to change places, let me know ... LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  2. *bish* i'll hunt u down if u try to disappear

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  3. How I wished to be a lazy bum too... Working is tiring enough... I wished to do what I'm passionate about, run n running only... Don't be so hard on yourself... U will always be my living legend, super speedy angel... Truly inspiring wor... ;D

    ReplyDelete