At The Mercy of The Germs

As I drove my car into our allotted parking space this afternoon, I finally succumbed to the frustration which I have been trying to overcome. I bawled my eyes out, due to pent up frustration or self-pity (what's the difference?) that no one I know will understand. Not even the husband.

Here I am, with my sinuses blocked and on my second round of antibiotics - I can't fekking breathe.

I didn't want to cry but I couldn't help myself, because ...

It's a few days to the Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM) and about a month to the Fubon Taipei International Marathon. It's my last chance to strike off one of my new year's resolution to complete the (PBIM) half marathon in 2 hours but it's clearly not going to happen.

Not in this condition I can.

I'm far behind my full marathon training and everything doesn't seem to be going my way - my body wants to run but the system rebels, the rainy evenings, a running buddy who's no longer sharing the same running frequency as I do, and the bloody weekends packed with social activities and short runs.

Oh my gawd I could just scream my head off but you'll just think I'm overreacting and there's always next year blah blah blah.

But I have my reasons.

Just think about something you worked so hard to achieve but only to have shit thrown your way and boom! there goes the goal.


I'm not even sure whether I can trust the doctor. She told me that if I don't get better tomorrow, she'll give me a jab AND possibly refer me to an ENT specialist.

WTF.

And don't tell me that there are others out there who are worst off than I am because now is NOT the time.