Friday, October 12, 2012

Maybe I'm Not Ready

Training doesn't seem to have improved.

I am still struggling to achieve my race pace so I don't think I'm there there yet.

I'm dejected. 
Really bummed out.

Can I quit now, without even trying? I just know I'm not strong enough for a sub2 just yet.

I don't want to run next Saturday and be disappointed.

I'm moping more these days. 

I wish I could get away from it all (work and home) and just hide away some place with tons of ice cream as company.

Or go some place surrounded by nature, and keep running and running until I'm ready to face the world again.

So don't mind me if you see me spit out phrases like "Never Give Up, Never Surrender" or "The Fear of Failure is a Weakness To Overcome In Order To Succeed" or "Never Die Without Trying" etc. 

I'm just trying to pick up the pieces of my determination and will power and continue to work towards that sub2 goal.

Because there's this little spark called hope, buried somewhere deep inside me that's telling me, "Maybe, just maybe, you'll reach that sub2..."

But deep deep down, I still think I'm not strong enough.