Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It Feels Funny Not Being Yourself

I woke up too early on Sunday morning.
930am was kinda early, considering the fact that I only dozed off at 3am.


I won't bore you with how disappointment washed over me again as I recalled Saturday's night event - words fail me, no matter how poetic I'd like to be. Hehe.

Truth to be told, I was rather hungry.

Thank goodness I eventually managed to find someone to accompany me for brunch then. (It turned out to be a huge brunch, which I will cover in my next post!)

OK, ok, what consumed me throughout the most of the day was the thought of Redemption.

I was angry at the circumstances which led to my failure disappointment poor results but I also knew that I was denying that tiny doubt in the deep dark recesses of my mind that perhaps I still wasn't strong enough to run that far and fast.

I tried to sleep it off in the afternoon but I couldn't. Redemption and failure kept ringing in my head while another part of me was telling me just quit it already, will ya?

That part of me, known as the Non-Runner, was secretly relieved that this sub2 target event is over and done with, and could we please move on to our non-running goals?

C'mon, take out your rainbows of yarn and let's crochet!
What's on TV? Don't you miss your sitcoms?
Yay! We don't have to wake up crazy early just to RUN anymore! I mean, yay, we don't have to have a strict training regime anymore!

Basically I miss having a bit of life that's not related to running.

But then again, if there is no running in my life right now, I think I'd be fat lost.

Anyway, come evening, I felt pretty aimless. 
Like the life was sucked out of me.

Like a teenager trying to mend a broken heart.
(Oh gosh, this was hilarious! I chuckled to myself as I tried to figure out what was wrong with me and indeed, I felt like I was going through a heartbreak.)

You know, loss of appetite, staring into space, not knowing what to do with yourself...

Pumpkin soup.

I decided to make pumpkin soup because I had just bought pumpkin from the supermarket that afternoon. =P
Because ... it would also warm my stupid cramp-y tummy.

It took me up to two hours to finish cooking it.

I hate the chopping and dicing part, I tell you.
And the blending.
So much work.

But once I was done with the blending, all was good.

I stirred the puree slowly, admiring the sunny colour that I wished was my current disposition.
How nice and smooth and creamy it was, I dreamily thought to myself.

Who said you needed chicken soup for the soul? :)

Cooking therapy done!

Same recipe as before, but adjusted to a smaller portion:
1 cup of diced potato (2 small/medium ones)
1.5 cup of diced carrots (3 medium sized ones)  
2 cups of diced pumpkin
1/3 of a medium sized shallot (I didn't have yellow onion!)
1.5 cup of chicken stock
1 cup of water
3 teaspoons of Dijon Mustard with White Wine (bleh)
Sprinkles of salt, pepper and parsley to taste!
*sprinkles of parmesan cheese, if you like!

The dijon mustard I had rushed out to purchase wasn't as tangy as I would have liked it to be.

For the record, a sub2 goal for half marathon has always been something I have wanted to achieve since last year. As this year is supposed to be a year for me to complete my unfinished projects, a sub2 half marathon remains one of them. 


I only take my training seriously when there is a special event to train for, a desired goal to achieve. For example, the TMBT 25km and Putrajaya Night Run's Half Marathon. :)

So don't mind me.

I should be back to my usual self by tomorrow. :D

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