A few days ago a male colleague casually said to me, "Oh hey, how is it that you're still maintaining your figure after marriage?"
Taken aback, I merely replied, "Ahhh, the husband's always out station for work so I don't need to take care of him."
He took it to mean that I was referring to my meals and I just left it at that. I needn't explain myself to him, but I'm not sure what I meant, anyway!
To be perfectly honest, I wasn't comfortable with his observation or his statement. A few months ago, he commented that although I am now a married woman, I was still dressing up like a single one.
Not too pleased with that, I told my lady colleagues about his statement and they laughed.
Too sexy for him, you think?
So you can imagine how disgruntled I am with his latest remark/query. How on earth does a normal man imagine a married woman to be - fat and frumpy? Covered up from head to toe because she's all curves?
Research showed that most women tend to pile on the pounds after marriage, while the men would pile on after a divorce. (See The Telegraph's article.) Reasons why post-marriage weight gain was common in most women is because:
- They generally have a larger role to play in the household so they have less time to exercise - they have to take care of the kids, the husband, the house, etc.
- They get pregnant - post natal weight is not easy to get rid of
- They may fall in love with the kitchen and start to cook more to feed the family. The more appreciated they are, the more time they'll spend in the kitchen cooking up a storm!
To cut a long story short, women have a tougher task of balancing their time between themselves, work and their loved ones.
My question is, why did he ask that question like it has been puzzling him for ages? (Holy shit, is he observing me at work?? Stalker alert!) It made me ponder whether most married men are like him, expecting married women to be roly poly with cheeks so chubby that you can't tell whether their eyes are open or not and they waddle instead of walk.
I don't have kids yet, so who knows, I'll be fat by the time I have my litter of Wong-Teo runners-to-be.
I watch what I eat and don't indulge in all the fatty and carb based foods on a daily basis. I do not believe that without rice or noodles, oh, a protein-based meal is insufficient to keep me full until the next meal.
I discipline myself to workout, which is harder than watching what I eat. It is bloody tough when I'm tired and I'd rather be a couch potato but the minute I have second thoughts about working out (on the day I'm scheduled to do so), I force myself to get changed and do it. Be done with it.
I am lucky to have a husband who does not expect me to cook every single meal at home and serve him day and night. Thankfully he also does not expect me to put on the pounds to blur my beauty and figure (if any!) to discourage attention from men.
Not forgetting the fact that he enjoys to sweat out as well.
I am lucky to have a family who are conscious with what we/they eat that these good habits and concerns are the basis of my foundation.
I once dated a guy who hated working out and didn't allow me to work out at all. His reason was that if I built muscles, my body would be hard and not very nice to hug at all.
Yeah, sure. He probably thought I was aspiring to be a body builder or something. Geez.
So no prizes for guessing that I piled on the pounds from just eating and not working out. And looking back at the pictures of myself then, I cringe and wished that part of my life could be obliterated by the delete button on this keyboard.
I am not super slim or slender with a body to die for, I am just normal. But I am glad to be fit and healthy which most people fail to realise that it is the first and foremost objective that they should be looking at when working out.
If you're telling me to be flattered that this guy at work basically thinks I'm hot for a married woman, then he should just compliment me by not saying anything because it's bordering sexual harassment.
Just say something simple like, "You're dressed up nicely today. Looking good!" and that will suffice.
But not while your eyes roamed up and down my body, of course.*
*Gawd, I hope he doesn't do that!